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Purpose This paper aims to examine how processes of developig independence among autistic adults can illuminate broader pathways of personal and community development. What began as research into how autistic adults develop and maintain independence evolved into a profound exploration of community transformation through safety and authentic self-expression. This participatory study emerged from conversations between academic researchers and three autistic men – Harry, Jackson and Jared – who transitioned from struggling students to community leaders at The Jacob’s Ladder School. Design/methodology/approach Through collaborative analysis of their lived experiences, the authors discovered how communities can shift from scarcity-based thinking to abundance-based design, where supporting individuals in bringing their natural, authentic selves enables them to address areas they wish to develop while contributing their unique strengths. Findings The findings reveal how communities designed around radical acceptance enable individuals to work on personal growth areas from a foundation of safety and belonging, creating sustainable pathways where behavioral diversity becomes a source of collective wisdom and strength. Originality/value Central to this transformation is the Interpersonal Whole-Brain Model of Care® (IWBMC™), which recognizes each individual as “a soul ready to be cared for” rather than a collection of deficits requiring correction (O’Dell et al., 2025a, 2025b). The IWBMC™’s emphasis on Spirit & Will – the core identity and driving force for change – creates safety for the authentic self while fostering intrinsic motivation for growth. This strength-based approach contrasts sharply with behaviorist models that focus primarily on correcting observable behaviors without addressing underlying needs or honoring individual processing styles.